Paperthin Hymn
by The Endless Cycle
Summary: Teenage - Adult Matt/Mello.  When an unrequited love is finally returned everything seems to be perfect. But then their paradise is shattered, and a broken Matt is left behind. Will they ever become reunited? Or is their bond simply not strong enough?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's comments: **There's never a whole lot of focus on Matt. Whenever there's fic of these two it's normally on Mello's side of things so I hope I can change that, even if the focus shifts between the two of them. Not sure if I should continue though...so if you like it please review! Oh, and as always, I do not own Death Note or any of its characters. Nope, just an avid fan of it. Also, title is the name of a song by Anberlin, which I am also in no way associated with, it simply inspired this fic. Lastly, it's rated as mature but doesn't get into that till later~ (Maybe next chapter then again later on)

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><p>Within Wammy's House the kids may play their days away and yet they are forced to grow up quickly. To learn all that they can, to be mature and logical, and to try and learn how to control their emotions so they won't get in the way of deductive reasoning.<p>

But in the end they are still only kids. Kids with fear, uncertainty, longing, hate, jealously, and love. Matt was no exception to this. In fact, he was the perfect example.

He acted as if nothing was wrong and went through everyday showing normal emotions; smiling pleasantly, laughing at jokes, crying when hurt, playing with the other kids. But in truth he felt...empty. Like life wasn't worth living.

Sure he was the third best student there, only fourteen and already smarter than what many adults could only hope to be. But it still felt as if there was nothing worth living for.

Why? Because the one he so loyally followed around and wished to be beside always had his focus set on another kid. Sure his eyes were filled with hate and jealously whenever he looked at Near, but it was such passion...such intensity.

Matt didn't care if it was with hate or love, he just wished Mello would look at him like that. Instead he felt ignored, unnoticed, even when they spent most of their free time together. He simply had to do something about it, but even with all of the chances he's had he simply stood by idly and watched them slide by. He just didn't have the courage or motivation to do that, much less anything else.

Even now, as the two laid side by side on Mello's bed he couldn't even speak.

Matt had came over after their classes ended and they did homework together. Once that was finished he pulled out his hand held system and presented Mello with his new game. And then, like always, he said he would rather just watch him play instead of playing himself.

That was fine with Matt as he knew Mello was never the gamer, but...it put so much pressure on him. To have Mello watching his every move, lying there so close by, touching even. He could even feel Mello's breath on his neck while he was leaning against him to see the screen better. It was so warm...

No, he had to focus. He couldn't lose this game, not while Mello was watching. Even if it was just a game it always impressed Mello when he beat them so easily, and sometimes he would even praise him. To get praised by someone far better than yourself...well, maybe there was something that made life worth it and got him through each mundane day.

These thoughts helped him to ease into his play easier, but he had become so transfixed with it that only after he had defeated the final level with his score flashing on the screen did he notice that Mello had fallen asleep.

Sweat formed on his brow and his cheeks became hot pink. It didn't help any that his arm had become Mello's pillow, so it wasn't like he could just get up and leave, not without waking the blond. Sure that wouldn't bother him too much but...

But he looked so peaceful. His normal intense, focused eyes were shut, his face had become expressionless, and for once his body wasn't as tense as it normally was. It was just pure, in some way.

Shutting off his game quietly Matt sat down the device and rested his head on his free arm. It would be so easy to say he merely fell asleep while playing, too. If he was lucky they could wake up late so the other wouldn't think twice about it before running off to class.

Laying here, listening to the steady breathing of his friend, Matt had to wonder what the other dreamed about. Was it no different than what he thought about while awake, about being number one and surpassing Near? Or did his mind wander far past that and into a realm that not even Matt, the one Mello told almost everything to, knew of?

The last option that crossed the gamer's mind was the least likely, but the one he had hoped for most, and it was that, just maybe, Mello had dreamed of him. It didn't even matter what context that was; whether it was them simply playing games together, working, fighting, or whatever. If he was in Mello's dream as Mello was in Matt's then perhaps he could finally feel whole.

And with that in mind he drifted into a sound slumber, smiling in his sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's comments: **Thank you for the reviews~! I decided to continue this after all, even if I've never been good at writing these things... This chapter is longer than the last but still pretty short. Oh, and the scene will continue but on Matt's side of things next chapter~

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><p>He wasn't addicted to chocolate, not yet anyway. At this point in time it simply was the way it melted in his mouth, leaving a bittersweet taste behind that would remain for quite a while. And since it lasted so long on his tongue he could focus on it instead of the million other things that were cluttered inside his mind.<p>

Normally those things were ideas at how to get back at Near, to make his life just a little harder than what it already was or about the next challenge they will face. Will he come out on top this time? Or will he remain number two forever?

However, while those thoughts were still there, there were others floating around in his head, all louder than them. And all about Matt.

When he woke up that morning the brunette was sleeping beside him, curled up and snoring lightly. It wasn't the first time Matt had slept in his room, but they would alternate turns on who slept on the bed and who took the floor ever since they got old enough to where that mattered.

Never had he been so embarrassed before then.

But why? It wasn't like he hasn't been through situations before that tested all of his emotions at once. And yet somehow he got redder than he would upon hearing that Near, once again, had beaten him.

For a moment there he just wanted to go back to sleep and lie in bed with Matt all day, forgetting class and simply remain by his side. Instead he smacked Matt aside the head to wake him up, lecturing the boy about how it wasn't right to let him fall asleep in his clothes and other trivial things.

Was he sick? Surely he must be ill or something for this to matter. He was Wammy's second finest, one aiming to become the next L and save the world from countless criminals. True he let his emotions get in the way several times before, but not like this. Love and lust were left for people going through normal schools and-

Wait...had he honestly just thought the words 'love and lust'? Was that how he felt towards Matt? Was he seriously letting his hormones get in the way of an already perfect friendship? And love? Really?

Sure he loved the boy, as a brother. That was how it should have been. They had no other family so it was only natural for them to make the bond with someone, that someone happening to be each other. Surely it could have been no other form of love...

But what if it was...

Oh, he's turning red now and in a public place.

Hurrying through the halls, Mello quickly escapes into his room and almost slams the door behind him, jumping on to his bed. It was still bright outside, but perhaps he just really needed a nap.

As if that would make the thoughts go away. Still, he had hope.

Though before he could even try to close his eyes and sleep his confusion away there was a knock at the door.

Heaving a sigh Mello got to his feet and crossed his room to the door, pulling it open only to find the green eyed boy in question there, wearing a worried look. And suddenly Mello wasn't as annoyed as he was just moments before.

"You...okay?" Matt's voice was quiet and unsure as he tilted his head, his eyes scanning the blond's face.

"Yeah... Why wouldn't I be?" He replied, his tone frustrated yet embarrassed, though he did try to hide that with anger.

"Well..." Matt let himself in, walking to the center of the room before turning around in time to watch Mello close the door, "you left class without a word so I came after you. And I heard the door slam... You look red, are you sick?"

"Probably," he answered, moving past Matt to sit on the bed as he tried to quell his mind. Was he really that red? Well, if he could pass it off as being sick, as he already thought he was, then it shouldn't be that much of a problem.

Matt nonchalantly moved over to sit beside Mello after giving him a small nod in reply. However, despite acting so casual he still sounded worried when he spoke. "Maybe you should take a nap now or something."

"Then I'll be up all night," he replied with a sigh, closing his eyes as his shoulders fell.

"So? There are no classes tomorrow and I can be here for you when you wake up..."

Opening one eye slightly Mello peered through the corner of it to see that Matt was looking at him intensely. Was he really that worried? "You need to sleep too you know, otherwise you could end up just as sick."

"Nope. I got that new game to play and with that sleep isn't needed." Wouldn't be the first time he spent an entire night awake to play some game. In fact, he once locked himself in his room for a week with a supply of junk food for a game. Doesn't mean Mello approved though.

"You need to take better care of yourself..." Why did he do this to himself...? Mello would constantly comment on Matt's health and he would simply shrug in reply, as he did now. It pissed him off so much... And while normally he would just storm off saying 'whatever, when you're going insane don't expect me to take care of you' this time had a different result. Probably because he couldn't walk off with them being in his room...

Mello grabbed Matt's collar, staring him down angrily and looking as if he was fighting the urge to just hit him across the face.

"Stop acting as if it's not important! If you get sick and start passing out all over the place I'll get worried and then I'll have to watch your ass twenty four seven!"

"You never looked at me like that before..." his voice sounded distant, as if his mind was somewhere else.

"Huh? What do you-"

Before Mello was able to finish his sentence Matt had quickly leaned in, planting his lips right on Mello. And after a moment he placed a hand on Mello's shoulder, holding it as if he didn't want Mello to even try to move away.

To say he was in total shock was probably the biggest understatement of the year. He couldn't move and found himself to be breathless, not like one really breathed during a kiss anyway...

Wait, this was it. His first kiss. And it was with Matt. What should he do? Should he kiss back? Would that be right?

For the second smartest he sure felt pretty stupid at the moment.

And then, as quickly as Matt had moved in, he pulled back and got to his feet. He apologized and tried to flee out the door, but was caught by Mello who had finally found the ability to move again.

"Wait...don't leave me..." why couldn't he stop trembling? It felt as if he was going to be sick and yet he never felt so happy before... Still, he couldn't turn to look at Matt now and simply held on to his arm, waiting. Waiting for him to come back and make the next move, being too unsure of what to do now.

"I won't..." Matt finally said, his words ending the strong silence which had filled the room and once again the hands on the clock began ticking for them. "I'll always be by your side..."


End file.
